Lone Star Rally, Galveston, Texas

The Lone Star Rally is only a few years old but is already attracting a hundred thousand plus to Galveston Island and may soon become one of the largest rallies in the nation.  There is no admission charge and the rally has a laid back party atmosphere with free entertainment, but it is safe enough to bring the kids.  Wives enjoy shopping on the Strand, too.  In 2004, I had the pleasure of attending the rally on a Friday when it was not so crowded.  Here is how it went. 

Topless girl sporting body paint
Topless

This girl is a real crowd pleaser.  She is riding away from the Gravity Restaurant and Bar on the Strand where artist Jimmy Barnes has painted on a bikini top.  Let me rephrase that.  She is not wearing a bikini top.  The only thing she is wearing above the short skirt is a tan and some body paint in the form of a bikini top.

Topless girl busted
Busted

Here, two of Galveston's finest stop the couple to check to make sure they are old enough to ride without a helmet in Texas.  Right.  No, they didn't pat her down.  Galveston PD used a light touch, figuratively speaking, and let everyone have a good time.

Topless girl close up
Close Up

After thrilling the admiring throng, the couple pauses for a break.  She was really cute and a good sport, but her boyfriend ruined everything when he got greedy and suggested that they accepted tips.  After years of training in topless bars, my friend and I whipped out dollar bills faster than a mongoose on a Cobra and tucked them in the poor girl's thong.  She promptly read pimp-boy the riot act and put on a bulky sweater to everyone's dismay.  She did have standards but it just kills me that she was smoking. 

Dodge Tomahawk
Dodge Tomahawk

Did I mention that there were motorcycles at the rally?  In addition to all the visitors and vendors with every type of motorcycle imaginable, Dodge was there with their Tomahawk.  The V-10 Viper-engined behemoth attracted a steady crowd of onlookers.  The Dodge Girls handed out red and black Dodge bandannas.  Speaking of girls, that reminds me of something.  (In case you're noticing a trend here, yes I actually hate motorcycles, I'm just in it for the women.)

Miranda Andrews Calendar Girl
Miranda Andrews

There were many attractive women at the Lone Star Rally.  The more beers I drank, the prettier they got.  Not far from the Dodge Tomahawk, however, an extraordinary young lady stopped me dead in my tracks.  "You're the most beautiful girl at this rally," I blurted in a drunken slur. 

It could have been all those cold beers clouding my judgment, but I thought that stunning Miranda Andrews was really into me.  Maybe I was getting lucky -- perhaps this statuesque blond had a fantasy involving a short, fat, old guy.  Not likely.  She just wanted me to buy one of her calendars.  No harm dreaming.  Calendar, $15.  This picture, priceless.

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