The Lone Star Rally is only a few years old but is already attracting a hundred thousand plus to Galveston Island and may soon become one of the largest rallies in the nation. There is no admission charge and the rally has a laid back party atmosphere with free entertainment, but it is safe enough to bring the kids. Wives enjoy shopping on the Strand, too. In 2004, I had the pleasure of attending the rally on a Friday when it was not so crowded. Here is how it went.
This girl is a real crowd pleaser. She is riding away from the Gravity Restaurant and Bar on the Strand where artist Jimmy Barnes has painted on a bikini top. Let me rephrase that. She is not wearing a bikini top. The only thing she is wearing above the short skirt is a tan and some body paint in the form of a bikini top.
Here, two of Galveston's finest stop the couple to check to make sure they are old enough to ride without a helmet in Texas. Right. No, they didn't pat her down. Galveston PD used a light touch, figuratively speaking, and let everyone have a good time.
After thrilling the admiring throng, the couple pauses for a break. She was really cute and a good sport, but her boyfriend ruined everything when he got greedy and suggested that they accepted tips. After years of training in topless bars, my friend and I whipped out dollar bills faster than a mongoose on a Cobra and tucked them in the poor girl's thong. She promptly read pimp-boy the riot act and put on a bulky sweater to everyone's dismay. She did have standards but it just kills me that she was smoking.
Did I mention that there were motorcycles at the rally? In addition to all the visitors and vendors with every type of motorcycle imaginable, Dodge was there with their Tomahawk. The V-10 Viper-engined behemoth attracted a steady crowd of onlookers. The Dodge Girls handed out red and black Dodge bandannas. Speaking of girls, that reminds me of something. (In case you're noticing a trend here, yes I actually hate motorcycles, I'm just in it for the women.)
There were many attractive women at the Lone Star Rally. The more beers I drank, the prettier they got. Not far from the Dodge Tomahawk, however, an extraordinary young lady stopped me dead in my tracks. "You're the most beautiful girl at this rally," I blurted in a drunken slur.
It could have been all those cold beers clouding my judgment, but I thought that stunning Miranda Andrews was really into me. Maybe I was getting lucky -- perhaps this statuesque blond had a fantasy involving a short, fat, old guy. Not likely. She just wanted me to buy one of her calendars. No harm dreaming. Calendar, $15. This picture, priceless.
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